Did he cut off his penis to spite his vase?
For those who thought receiving a horse’s head in a bed was the height of grotesque, a florist was flabbergasted upon discovering a package with a severed schlong outside their bodega.
The apparent intimidation audit occurred earlier this month when a mysterious box was found at the Rosas de Los Mochis flower shop in the center of Los Mochis, northwest of Mexico City.
Initially suspecting it was an explosive device, local police enlisted the bomb squad to investigate.
After conducting a battery of tests, authorities determined that the package was not an explosive.
Instead, the parcel harbored an amputated piece of “mail” anatomy like a pornographic version of the “What’s in the box?” scene from the movie “Seven.”
The package — adorned with a funereal floral wreath — came with a sinister note inside that read: “The reflection of your actions. So you can educate yourself and get off my balls.”
The National Guard and the Mexican Army also carried out several tests on the member, according to a Jam Press report. The authorities have not yet identified the X-rated bouquet’s sender nor the unfortunate soul who was left with, well, a “dick in a box.”
However, this isn’t the first unsettling item that’s been left outside this particular flower shop.
Previously, the florist had found several macabre mannequins related to untimely ends, including a depiction of Santa Muerte, also known as Our Lady of Holy Death.
Coincidentally, this comes several months after police were involved in an intense shootout with gang members in the vicinity of the florist, which ended with the authorities getting overwhelmed and fleeing the scene.
It remains unclear if the incident, which is captured in the above security camera video, was related to the phallic valentine or the diabolical dummies.
Meanwhile, this is just the latest incident in which someone has sent an unusual item to deliver a mysterious — and stomach-turning — message.
In January, a scorned woman got back at her ex by placing a dead fish in his mailbox every day. A video detailing the “Godfather-esque” revenge ploy currently boasts 2.2 million views on TikTok.
“My toxic trait is that I post a raw fish through my exes letter box every day,” reads the caption to the fishy clip, which was posted by user @katieber5.
The accompanying footage shows the woman shoving the unconventional carp-accio into the alleged ex’s mail slot like a devious DoorDasher.
And while Katie didn’t disclose what sparked the tiff, she explained in the comments that she dreamed up the odiferous measure to “make him miss me.”
